Children and How They Change and Shape our Lives

When I was a little girl all I wanted was to grow up, get married, have kids and be a mom. The wonder and the fantasy of it all was so awe-inspiring to me. Not that I had much of a role model in my mom, but in my Nannie and my Aunt Patty. I wanted so much to be like them.

And now here I am. I have two wonderful children, whom I love with all my heart and soul and would die for today. And I also have wonderful step-children (for lack of a better word), whom I raise and love with all my heart and whom there is nothing I wouldn't do anything in my power for.

But what do you do when one of your beloved children turns their back on all that you've taught and tried to instill in them?

Bottom line....my son was arrested for buying drugs at school yesterday and as bad as that is, the worst part is that he could've died from an overdose and I would have been clueless.

Everything happens for a reason? Yes, I sincerely believe that. If he hadn't of passed out yesterday from the rush of the drug and gotten caught, he might very well have ended up dead. Now I learn that he has been using a variety of very hard, addictive drugs.

Maybe by refusing to learn and understand more about drugs, I have enabled my children to pull the wool over my eyes. And for that I can never forgive myself. It's not enough to know that they are bad, but also to know WHY they are bad and how each generation is experimenting and using them.

Now I'm dealing with moving past...he's experimenting with them, to he's abusing them, and now have to find out if he's actually addicted. As if one addict in my life is not enough.


I know one thing...I have failed my son thus far, but will NOT fail him any further in this fight.

So, hug your wonderful kids and always know who they are hanging out with (I only "thought" I knew), and what they're doing when they're "hanging" with their friends. Also, know what drugs are out there being used and abused by children. Each generation is different. Can you believe that Ambien is what my son bought and used yesterday? A sleep aid. Of all things....

Does this make him a bad kid? Hell no....but hopefully it will be what it needs to be, a life lesson that we all learn from....Jacob, me, Doug, Chris....everyone in my life.

Did he want more of my attention? Doesn't matter, cause now he's gotten it. Someone helped me to see that yesterday my son still needs me and for that there is not enough thanks in the world. Thank GOD he is still here TO need me.

I am here and I am listening....